Monday, August 10, 2009
You're at Marina Square and those MNMs are staring at you. :-Don't start to show how intimidated you are by their stares-Don't say "ape tengok2, aku lawar sangat ke?"-Walk away to any opposite direction even though its the longest route out of there.-Once you're 300 meters away from them and while you are still visible to them, shout "kau anak siaaaaal.... bluek!"-Do that 'sap konek' gesture by bending your knees slightly, take both arms and cross them in front of your genitalia and-run!!!Situation 2Minahs argue back and say "asal nan kening ako?" :-smile a suspicious grin and keep quiet. It'll make them very curious and furious but they can't do anything.Situation 3It's 1am, you're trying to sleep & those MNMs are making too much noise under your block. :-Throw waterbomb-Cover your bolster with a white cloth, tie it to a rope, lower it down your window. Pochong.-Call police and report excessive noise/ underage smoking under void deck/ illegal gathering/ & say while on the way home, you THINK you saw them inhaling glue from a red plastic bag. Not forgetting, say your little baby sister can't stop crying due to the noise.-Turn your room lights off and hide in the darkness while shouting out "nabei cibai bising lah mat!" keep doing so until they try to investigate.-Once patrolling police arrives, the noise will subdue and you can sleep. you win.Situation 4You're boarding a public transport and a group of mats/minahs are suddenly mysteriously behaving really annoying and loud, trying to get your attention, stand inconsiderately near to you and won't stop staring. :-They're just trying to get your number and those sorts, so best way to annoy them back is to pretend you don't even notice them.-Pretend to sleep.-Look away from them.-Stare out the window.-If you sanggup enough to kena kan balik til the end, alight the train/bus before they do.while outside the train/bus and the doors are already closed, give them the middle finger through the windows and then look away quickly before they're able to return you another middle finger. you win.Situation 5MNMs aren't happy about what you wrote about them in your blog and they're searching for you. :-Don't ever go City Hall. Thats where they will only go, and since you're not there, they can't find you, and you win!-MNMs arranges to meet you outside to settle things, don't ever agree to it even though they'll start claiming you're a wimp. Plus, whats there to settle through a meet up? Most to most they'll just start beating you and threaten you to death, while at the end of the day you'd just go home and blog about the experience. When things aren't settle, it makes them even more furious. Don't you just like it when they're pissed?Situation 6You are at large, every gangster groupie shit is hunting down for you and you're caught. :-There's nothing more or less to expect than being beaten up, but before that, make use of your intelligence to argue back and start a debate. Those cunts can't speak English any better than us, they'll hurl vulgarities in Hokkien which they don't even understand 60% of. So continue giving your points in ENGLISH. You see, in every group of mats or minahs, there'd surely be at least one person who has a higher IQ, understandable, nice and willing to negotiate to make things less complicated instead of just blindly whacking you for no good, so take the advantage to save your dignity.Situation 7MNMs are tailing you from behind for no apparent reason With intentions to either rape, rob or wrong identity. :-If you're alone, take your phone out and call 999. Don't hang up the phone until you know you're safe. Keep updating them which street or block you're walking along and ask for assistance. If the MNMs manage to catch up with you, bare with the pain, the police will arrive in a short while.-If you're walking along Esplanade, Padang, Adelphi and Penin, run towards anyone in a group, no matter if theyre MNMs themselves, someone from the underground scene, or any wakwak tua. People are willing to help (esp if you're a girl) even though they know its outnumbered.-If you're somewhere near home, run and call anyone who is most probably at home and tell them to open the door in advance so it'll be easier for you to dash in and escape.Situation 8MNMs already whacked/raped/rob you. :-Gather every evidence possible.-Go police station-Report and make statements-Press charge for damages-Receive money
got it frm my sister..ahaha..effing cool!!!